Return of the Sac

Here we go...again.

Here I am many months since my last post and things have changed in my life.  The Love Sac has become the In Love Sac.  I guess I am one of those success stories you see on television.  Who would have thunk it? Yes, I am involved in a committed relationship so my attention to writing a blog about internet dating has waned.  I need to re-focus and continue writing.  I really enjoy writing down my thoughts and knowing that some people out there who actually read them is therapeutic for me.  I jotted down some topics that I could write about that I feel people would still enjoy reading about.

 Maybe I will write more about what it is like to be in a relationship after being single for close to a decade.  

I still get the invites and notifications in my junk mail from the web sites that I would spend hours upon hours sifting through profiles looking for potential dates.  As tempted as I am to see who is "checking me out" I know that I am in a good place now and would not do anything to jeopardize that.  It's kind of amazing the time and focus you have on other things when you are not continually looking for that next thrill or worrying when you are gonna get laid again.  It's like chasing a drug and the next thing you realize is that you are in the bathroom trying to writes messages to women on Ok Cupid at work while you should be sending out that bid to that reality show coming into town. With all this extra time I have mastered American sign language,  learned how to throw a knuckle-ball, had a brief stint as a sushi chef and even learned to speak Swahili.  Siku njema, aibu yako ni ujira wangu!

There was a point where I would mention my blog on my dates which in retrospect was really douchey of me.  At the time I thought it made me seem charming in a way but  I must have come off like a pretentious dating know it all and just pretty lame.  I am a different kind of lame now.  Weekends are filled with activities such as planting herbs, watching movies like "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen" and our weekly pilgrimage to Target.

I guess I always lacked that focus because I "preferred" to be the single guy.  Meeting girls was my priority and I got a little obsessed.  When that part of your life has been fulfilled you move on to other aspects of your life.  No magic trick, it just happens.

I am still a guy though and have yet to master the subtle glance at another female in public. I don't know if that feeling ever goes away. It's in your DNA. You are compelled to stare.  My friend Peter would often mock my obvious rubber necking.  

We were stupified by their beauty or we could have been stoned.

Here is a pic of us back in the day checking out some chicks in Amsterdam:















 I could always write about my family...

My father is in Italy right now and will be there until mid July.  He asked me to watch over things at his home while he is away.
Sure Dad, no problem.    I have mentioned before how he goes into great detail about little tasks and things that should take a couple minutes to explain takes him 40 minutes to an hour.  He pounded into my head on how to start the lawn mower several times.  Seriously,  it was like 3 hours of the ins and outs of an old ass lawn mower that was given to him from a neighbor who was throwing it away.  As he goes through the several steps of starting the mower (why are there several steps? You should be able to pull the starter cord and be done with it)  he looks at me and says " You know how to do this son?"   I say yes but it doesn't matter. He's gonna show me again. The day before he left he wanted to show me one more time.  I refused and he called me dummy.  Great Dad, have a nice trip.

My father rarely gets anything new, especially when there is a perfectly shitty substitute in a heap of garbage somewhere. He also never has the right tool to do the job.  Sweet Jesus, he uses a flat head screwdriver for scraping paint off the house, a garden shovel, a shish kabob, picking his teeth and every once in a while to screw in something.

Here he is in the middle of my two other uncles hiding one.

This is my Dad's wedding day.  In Italy they get married in speedos.  

Anyway,  he leaves and I am entrusted to mow the lawn without him having to look over my shoulder. I go over to the house a few weeks into the spring and take the lawnmower out of the shed.

I check to see if there is gas*check*
I make sure there is enough oil *check*
I prime the engine by pushing the the button in the front a few times *check*
I make sure the spark plug his connected and tightened *check*
I hold the lever by the handle*check*
I pull the rip cord*NOTHING*

Holy shit, Why isn't anything happening?   It's barely turning over.  I am a dummy.
I leave my parents house defeated and go home.  I spoke with my mother and implored her not to tell my Dad.  All of the sudden I am 16 again and under the watchful eye of Nino Sacco.
Unlike my father, my mother likes to spend money of course because she is a woman. She offers to buy a new mower.  I tell her that we should but wait until next week.
I come back and I fully expected to be going to Lowes and buying a Troy-Bilt 7.25 Ft.-Lbs. Torque 21" Self-Propelled Gas Push Lawn Mower  but I am a determined mofo.  I break that thing out and starting working on it.  I prime the engine and make sure there are no loose connections.  Pull the rip cord and nothing.  I am refueling and taking things apart.  It was an unusually warm day so I started sweating within minutes. I pull the rip cord. Nothing. Ok, I really didn't take things apart but I refuel and took out the spark plug and cleaned/buffed/shellacked the shit out of that thing.  I pull the chord and it TURNS OVER!! I was the happiest kid in the world.  It was a small victory for me and I knew that my pops would be proud as hell so I called him.  Sure, it was 2AM Italian but this was a big deal! In a tired voice he said I was a "good boy" and meant it!
I wonder if he remembered that conversation the next day.  I sure did and had a shit eating grin to prove it. See?

I was trying to hitch a ride in someone's apartment. I went to public school. :(

Finally,  I could bitch about work from time to time too. 


Why can't work be like Mad Men?  I got dirty looks when I proposed having a mini-bar by the water cooler and a napping couch by reception.

-Le Sac


PS. Where have you been Jalapeno, pronounced Jah-lap-pin-oh?  Not really his name but I like saying ethnic words incorrectly. This was a kitty that would greet me everyday when I got home in front of my apartment building and would hang out in the hallways until some d-bag in apartment 6 put up a sign and insisted that we could not let him in anymore. He didn't bother anyone! Dick!

He's not dead in this pic. I promise.

Apple and Oranges

I was looking through some old photos with my momz today on Iphoto and it was nice to be able to sift through the hundreds of photos I have stored on my Macbook Pro.  They are organized by year , separated into albums or events and even have  a face recognition feature now.  I can also "share" theses photos/albums instantly on to Facebook or any other social networking site.  Do yourself a favor  and select a picture and then hold down the right cursor button.  You can see your life flash before your eyes.  Kinda trippy.  Even as I write this I feel like my laptop is a bit antiquated.  Seems like everything should be touch screen.  

We are listening to "Rosse rose per te" by Massimo Ranieri (My mother and fathers weddings song) on the same machine as we take a journey down memory lane.  It's a beautiful song and I was able to rip the cd and add it on to my Ipod.

It's a far cry from bringing down the big ol' musty album from the attic and dusting it off.  Though there is something to be said about touching pictures and hearing the cellophane crinkle a bit when you turn a page, having all of your life's memories at your disposal without taking up any physical space or having them degrade in quality is something very special.
Soon we will get on to Ichat to video chat with my sister in Rome.  She's so far away but we are able to keep in touch and my mother will be able to see her grandchildren grow up even though they are 4108 miles (6617 km) away.  I remember when I first showed my mother how she could use Ichat and how her face lit up when she saw her daughter and granddaughters.  "I can't believe this technology. It is amazing."  She could see and hear them clearly.  She even touched to screen to touch the cheek of her granddaughter like it almost seemed like it would be possible to actually feel her.  You see, my mother left her family in Italy to come start a new life with Dad here in the States.  She would rarely speak to her family back home and it was even more rare for her to see them.
She admitted that it was a shame that this technology did not exist in her younger years.  There may have been some regret in her voice but she does appreciate greatly that this technology is available to us now.  Her life and many others have been forever changed for the better.


We have come so far in the last 20 or so years and this is why I need to thank you Steve Jobs.
Thank you for everything.  You spent your whole life trying improve the lives of others.  Bringing people far away a lot closer.  You are an icon. You are the Thomas Edison of my generation.  You begged us to think differently.  Why does it seem like the people who do so much good for the world are gone way too soon?  "Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.”"

Though there have been a few worms to the Apple Brand (sorry mac mini).  Apple has become the standard.  It is fashionable but it is not style over substance.  The substance is there.  He wrote.  "Design is not just how it looks like.  Design is how it works."

The Iphone incorporates everything great about Apple in a pocket fitting device.  You helped make the world a bit smaller and changed the way we look at it.
It seems so futuristic and the future is now.  It's comparable to what you see in science fiction flicks!

I never knew or met you Steve but you have affected my life.  Though your death was not unexpected, it was still shocking.  The world needs more people like you in it.

  Maybe about a month or so before his death my brother in law showed me a youtube video of Jobs commencement speech at Standford. Not only was Jobs a brilliant mind but he was also a great orator,  he reminds us to "Stay Hungry, stay foolish." It is a truly inspiring.

I write this on Columbus Day weekend where we celebrate Christopher Columbus and the discovery of America.  I like to think of Steve Jobs as a Pioneer of Discovery.

-Le Sac

How I Spent My Summer and a Little Mail Sac.

Back in Sac, I hit the Sac  I've been too long and I am glad to be Le Sac!

I have returned after a Love Sac summer hiatus!  I worked on my tan, family visited from the old country, traveled a bit, attended several bachelor parties and weddings, helped my niece move into college, went on some memorable dates, and discovered the true meaning of summer. ha ha

I got the itch to write again after Labor Day.  Septembers are so bittersweet.  Summer is wrapping up (even though I think September is actually one of the nicer summer weather months.)  You pack up your swim wear, families close up summer homes, people are moving into new apartments, and some trees even have a few leaves changing color.
The students come back into school so my commute gets shitty again, football and fantasy football are starting up, baseball pennant races are heating up and my family starts canning tomato sauce for the winter.  This really happens. We boil bushels of tomatoes then peel them, puree them, can them and boil them once more.

It's also an opportunity for new beginnings!  It's a time to start anew.  You reflect on your summer and you take moment to think about what you want to change in your life.  Real change though, not like when you make a new years resolution and pretty much set yourself up for a failure.  For me, it was getting my own place.  My plans were accelerated when my roomies informed that they were expecting a baby.   I wasn't kicked out exactly but I am pretty sure I didn't want to become the male nanny or "manny" by default.   I've have always had roommates and no matter how cool they are, you run into the same problems and issues.  Cleaning, bills, noise, bedbugs blah blah blah.  People just want their own space at the end of the day and when you get to a certain age you don't want to compromise.  Of course I am dealing with this a lot later in life than most people.  Seems like most of the people I know move in with their significant other withina year or so of dating.  I am not exactly a "relationship" guy so that opportunity never arose.  Boston is a ridic expensive city to rent it.  I found myself wishing that I had a girlfriend just so I can save money on my rent!  I searched for months for the perfect place. I have some standards and I'll be damned if I have to pay a realtor fee!  Apts were too small, over priced, not updated or in a bad neighborhood. I was getting desperate and stressed.  I even considered moving to Brighton!

I lucked out and found my perfect apartment 2 weeks before September 1st.
So here I am( in JP) writing for first entry whilst stealing my new neighbors wireless. Thanks "Dynex1277" whoever you may be. I just got off the phone and ordered internet.  I thought I could deal with out it but I am a weak man.  Feels shameful to realize that I am slave to the world wide web.  I wrote a note to the other tenants to see if any of them and posted it on the bulletin board in the foyer. Seems like a waste of money for every individual in  my building to be paying for service. Alas, no one responded and I am giving my money to the man at full price.  You know what else is expensive? Love Sac!!! Those things are over $500! $500 for a bean bag chair!

On to the Mail Sac/bag.

Have you ever had a bad date? 
- Annonymous

I have been on dates that have been boring or I just didn't really click with the person.  I try to minimize this by being somewhat selective.  I try to build a rapport through emails and texts.  Some folks try to meet up after a couple of exchanges.  I think that is asking for trouble or at least an awkward date. Make good decisions and don't get too eager to meet initially.  Get to know each other a bit so its not like an interview when you first meet.

I lied about my age on my profile and I started exchanging messages with a woman that thinks I am 10 years younger.  Should I tell her?
- Steve  Brighton, MA

Oh Steve.  This is a big no-no.  It was inevitable that something like this would happen.  Be honest up front.  If a woman doesn't like because of your age then maybe you should re-consider who you are trying to attract.  You are in a world of crap and unless you want to go the next few months to a year living a lie , you need to tell her.  Next time don't be such a dummy.

Do you have a preference between blondes, brunettes, and red heads?
- Paul Portland, ME

 To quote my father "They are all my favorite."  I generally gravitate towards swarthy women though. I am a little weirded out that a man asked me this question.

Does your father really speak like that? I call shenanigans.
-Sam  Watertown, MA

He does.  He grew up in a small town in the province of Campania Italy.  Maybe I should post a recording sometime.

How come you don't post pics of yourself on the Love Sac? Are you a great big fat person?
- Alison  Cumberland, RI

I don't think I am that  fat.  Here you go.  It was raining that day so forgive the wet suit. Ha ha Get it?

I had a fantasy draft this weekend and I  drafted Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez for TE.  I can only play 1 out of  the 2.  Thoughts?
-Mike  Franklin, MA

You'll be ok with either one but I am totally on the Gronky Kong bandwagon.  Hernandez is athletic and is more of a WR hybrid but I think Gronk is the go to red zone tight end.
Which reminds me... Why hasn't Budweiser or Coors brewed a seasonal beer  call Fantasy Draught? I'd buy it on name alone. Please advise crappy beer companies!





Do you find any of the women on Jersey Shore attractive?
-Tara  Brookline, Ma

Oh my god yes. Season 1 I had a thing for Sammie but after a while she became quite unattractive due to all that Ronnie drama.  Season 2 and 3 was definitely J-wow, even with her fake tata's and raspy voice.   She is way too skeletal now.
This season in Florence has to go to Snooki.  Kinda started to notice her last season but she is pretty effin cute now.




You are a f****ng f***ot?
-Anonymous 


Not technically a question but there is that question mark on the end of it.  I  think the answer is "No" but I could be mistaken.


It's been too long Love Saccers! See you next week!

-Le Sac

America Effing Rules!

Happy Birthday to the USA!  I love tradition and I watched the Coney Island Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4th.  I ask you if there has been a greater American athlete than Joey "Jaws" Chestnut?   He currently holds the hot dog eating title and record.  A staggering 68 hotdogs in 10 minutes which he inhaled in 2009. Nothing short of amazing.  He took down long time champion Takeru Kobayashi in 2007, who had won the "Mustard Yellow Belt"  the previous six years in field that was dominated by Japanese eaters. Joey then continued to defeat him every Independence Day since and even driving Kobayashi out of the competition altogether. God Bless the USA! This guy has one hell of a masseter muscle!

 

 

Also, what is not to like about American women?  They are independent, ambitious, confident, witty and fun.  They are spark plugs that could drink you under the table and then beat you in Texas Hold Em.

America has the best brunch too! Believe it or not Eggs Benedict is mother lovin' American!

American music is the best in the world.  Birthplace of Rap, Soul, rock and Johnny Cash.

Apple (pie) and Apple (computers) are American!  The internet was invented here too! Facebook bleeds red white and blue!

The best colleges and universities are here!

Maybe you have heard of Dr. Seuss? He sold a few books.

Buffalo wings! Nathans Hotdogs of course. S'mores are American too right?

Martha's Vineyard!

The best day of the year takes place here. That's right, I am talking about the Superbowl!

"Tom Brady
The model-marryin', best-lookin', best-tossin' quarterback in the country."

"

Spielberg, Tarantino and Scorcese!  Tina Fey salutes the flag! Seinfeld lights off bottle rockets on the fourth!

John Phillip Sousa marches!

Ben Franklin who discovered electricity was born in Boston! Henry "Model T" Ford!

Scrabble! Big ups to Hasbro! (QI is a word btw)

Another American thing that rules is fist bumping. I have been trying to get a new fist bump to happen and I really think it could over take the fist bump then making explode bump.

Normally you go in for a fist bump with your knuckles horizontal like so.

For this modified fist bump make sure your knuckles are vertical as shown here.

The person who is fist bumping should have his knuckles oriented the same way. 

You should go in for a normal bump but at the moment of impact give a thumps up.

It almost looks like you are clanging a couple of beers and I get a kick out of it. 

 It's really simple but I have received a positive reaction from people.  Give it a go!

USA USA USA!!!!

- Le Sac

Check out this site. I love me some fireworks and America.  The song that plays here is amazing. I wish I could figure out how embed it here or even download the song but I can't. Help!

http://nhfireworks.com/

Whaaat Da Hell?

I have mentioned my father a few times before on the Love Sac and since it is Father's Day I would like to share a few more stories of my relationship with my dad relating to women, being a man and most of all, complaining.












I had a pretty typical upbringing in a suburb just south of Boston with the usual small town niceties.   Playing games with the neighborhood kids, riding bikes, forts,  July 4th (actually July 3rd) fireworks by the high school, Babe Ruth Baseball and Pop Warner football.


 Yet surrounded by all this normalcy I had a family who were not so familiar with American mores and tradition.  If I were to ask my father if I could sign up for baseball he would think it was "bullashit."  He always thought I was wasting water too. He would bang on the door if I was in the shower more than 5 minutes and was convinced that the pressure was too high coming from the shower head.  God forbid if I made noise upstairs or played music. An accidentally slammed door would be answered with a bellowing gravelly voice from downstairs yelling "What da Hell is going onnn!?"

 Seriously, how could you yell at a cute little kid like this?

These little annoyances were nothing to compared to trying to mow the lawn,
Mowing the lawn was the most traumatizing experience in my life.  You'd think my old man would be able to trust me enough to be able to a decent job. How bad could I really mess up a lawn?
My father would spend, no exaggeration, a half hour alone on how to start a mower.  If I tried to just start it on my own he would tell me to "Stop being such a show off!"  I had to bite my lip and when I actually started to mow he would put his hand on my hands as I tried to mow in a straight line. "You control the machine not the other way around!" he would say.  After an hour of this he would finally let me on my own but he would watch me from a few feet away.  He would scrutinize my work and often take over my duties if he felt that my lines were not up to his standard.  Picture being a 15 year old kid and Suzy cute neighbor is watching you being berated over how straight a lawn line was. Ugh.
I visited my family a few weeks ago and I thought I would be a good son and mow the lawn. 20 years later it was the same instruction and under the same watchful eye of Nino Sacco.  I guess he still sees me as a lazy teenager.

Learning to drive was another experience that almost killed us, literally.  Stop in my fathers mind meant stop, slow down, yield and park . How was I suppose to know what he meant?  He apparently thought I drove like a "rocka star."

Going on vacation as a youngster was a good time. We would visit Italy often and see my family that still lived there. We would go to beautiful beaches and play in the sand. These were some of my fondest memories as a child.  I thought my Dad would have my back in one situation but I was utterly disappointed.   The thing is that my mother insisted that I wear speedos on the beach.  I told that I did not want to and begged her not to make me wear a banana hammock.  My mother said "this is the what they wear in Italy." I wanted to wear my Bermuda shorts.  My mother said that I would be made fun of if I were those.  Are you kidding me? Those guys have their scrotum's on open display and I am not comfortable exposing my genitals to entire Mediterranean population.  I even pleaded with my father to do something and he let my mother have her way.
Here was the result:  (Lower left corner)
I think I was trying to drown myself.  :(  Damn this buoyant body!








My Dad did teach me to respect women and that "if you know how to talk then you have no problem."
My father can be a charismatic mofo when he wants to and try to take as many cues from him when possible.  As stern as he was there was always a lesson to be learned. I have grown to appreciate him and the way he does the things that he does.  I respect him like crazy and we are able to laugh about old times. 

My father is always is there for giving me sage advice as well. I am looking to move into a new place this fall and he has an old friend who has a daughter. He said I could move in on the bottom floor of an apartment that she owns and offered this tidbit;
"You could probably live there for free but you just gotta give them the sugah."

I was  talking to my pops about some dates I have been on lately, his face lit up and he looked as if he was the most proud of me he has ever been. You told me I should say the following to one of my dates:
"I have a good friend who is 62( he's actually 65)  years old.  What's the big deal?  We go out together in the same club... yeah. How old? 35? That's the one I like. Even 28 is fine"

Happy Father's Day. I wouldn't want you any other way Dad. 

-Le Sac

PS. Congratulations to the Boston Bruins for winning the Stanley cup this year! I can remember watching the TV38 games with my Dad in the mid-late 80's. The games would go on too late and I would be awoken by the sound of voice of Dana Hersey the host of the "TV38 Movie Loft" which always seem to play some Charles Bronson action flick. His voice still haunts me.  It's eerily similar to Dr. Spaceman from 30 Rock.

Stop being yourself, yourself sucks!

Seems like I barely read through profiles anymore.  I want to but I just get so bored reading about the same stuff.  They all start off the same and kind of become these paragraphs of cliches and banality.
I don't know how many times I have read about how someone are tired of the bar/club scene and just want to stay in and watch a movie with someone.  Are all people the same and want the same things or is that all single people want the same things and share common personality traits?  Are we devoid of  personality?  Maybe it is what we perceive what the opposite sex will find attractive?  It's like describing to yourself as "creative." The majority of people would describe themselves as that or "funny" so it doesn't really set you apart from the rest of the world. You are just part of that heaping pile of profile garbage that is taking up space in online dating worlds landfill.
Point being,  invest some time on what you write. (I have a feeling that the previous sentence will bite me in the ass.) You have something to say. Sell yourself!

Here's a list of things that have become turn offs when reading profiles and some annoying pics.

1. "I'm really laid back" or "I'm really chill."  I've met you neurotic crazies.  Just because you say it doesn't make it true.

2. What's up with women who "love to laugh?" Who doesn't?  Laughing means you are amused and having a good time.  It's like writing "I like to have fun."

3. You have more pics of your dog or cat than yourself.  I can just picture myself at their house and it just stinks of litter boxes and there is fur everywhere.

4. You are holding a baby that is not yours in more than one pic.  Just Photoshop the kid out  and replace it with you holding a big burrito or poker chips.
See?

5. Listing "Curvy" as a body type when you are actually a full figured woman.  I have nothing against the bigger ladies but curvy in my opinion means average body with wider hips and major league yabbos! Not a gut that sticks out further than your chest. Think Joan Holloway from Mad Men!

Curvy:

Not Curvy

6. Anyone that writes they practice "Atheism" and are "very serious" about it under religion.  Just a personal thing to me.  I am not a particularly religious person but you just come off as an elitist d-bag.  Just leave it blank.

7. Same thing goes for women that are looking for men that make over 100k a year for salary requirements.   Just screams "I'm shallow."

8. Girls in yoga poses in nature. 

9.  The kissy face-peace sign pics. Google that shizz. It's hilarious. 
*sidenote* I just did a search on match for women in the Saugus area that smoke, have kids with no high school education and I came up with these:

Avoid these common missteps in your profile and you will be golden.  Details are what make me notice so put some effort into your profile.

Believe it or not the iphone mirror shots don't bother me so much. Seems like that was a phenomenon started because of online dating sites and it's just so lame that I think it's funny.


Congratulations to the winner of the Love Sac T-shirt contest! I will be sending you your prize pack in the mail this week! Good work!

- Le Sac

VOTE NOW! T-Shirt Contest!

I appreciate and thank those for submitting entries. Here are the finalists for the Love Sac T-shirt Contest!  Vote for your favorite! You can vote to the right of the blog. Tell your friends about the Love Sac! Be sure to like the Facebook page and follow me on Twitter!

T-shirt 1 (Hawaii 5.0)

T-shirt 2 (Thumbs Up)

T-shirt 3 (Lady Silhouette)

T-shirt 4 (Love Davinci)

T-shirt 5 (All I got)

T-shirt 6 ( Love EST 2011)

T-shirt 7 (Beer + Pig = LoveSac)

T-shirt 8 (Sac Take Out)

-Le Sac

PS
The Love Dimension were in town spreading those positive vibes and I saw them play this weekend. Boy can they put on a show. 
Check it.